and Ring In the New. And what better way to ring in the New Year than to show Fran getting her comeuppance.
There's a new kid in town, and she's got legs to die for. My only regret is I don't have enough talent to truly give Xou's gams justice. Oh, well, like I always say: the only thing seperating me from true artistic immortality is talent and patience. But I'm having fun, so screw it!
My new year's resolutions are to laugh a little more, worry a little less, and pay more attention to the things that truly matter: friends and family. May you all have a very happy and healthy New Year!
The usual suspects can be found here..
I had a blast. Best Christmas ever! I hope you all enjoyed yourselves as well. But now it's very late, and I have a tendency to get cranky when I'm tired. So good night!
I was thinking of calling this week's note Black Sunday, but, I thought better of it since there's movie with the same name.
So why black anything? It's the Saturday before Christmas, everybody got paid on Friday (if you're paid bimonthly), and everybody's running short of time. Route 202 was a madhouse. So if you're wondering why I'm looking a little shaggy this holiday season, blame my lack of haircut on the strong retail sector this holiday season. America went out, I stayed home.
And speaking of "home", here is the location of this week's offering. There is also a continuation of the weird-assed crossover story here.
There will probably be a frame or two for The Holiday. I will probably be with Family this Christmas Eve, so the comic may be a day late.
The last week has been pretty rough at work, so I was not able to devote as much "quality time" to Fran and friends as I would have liked. There is an amusing Holiday Image up for your amusement and amazement.
You may want to check out a crossover story I've been working on.
Whilst I am in this creative ebb tide, as it were, I will be performing some much needed maintenance to the website. These changes will be (hopefully) invisible to you, but they will make my life much easier.
Well, Turkey Day has come and gone, and I hope everyone has come out of their food coma long enough to enjoy the glorious weekend we've had here in the Delaware Valley.
Of course, if you're not fortunate enough to live here, I'm hoping you've had a swell time, too. It's just not going to be as swell as those of us here. Let us shed a tear. O.K., that's enough.
Enough foreplay, let's get to the dirt, as they say. Remember, Burlesque is as much about what you don't show as what you do. And a good professional never shows everything. Unless they're paid a buttload of cash-eesh to do it.
And, a few announcements. Firstly, you'll notice the "Front Panel" has changed again. I've added small icon-like pictures to aid my brother, Rich, who has occaisional trouble with "big words". Like "next", and "last". There you go, Rich. I hope the new medication is treating you right.
Next, I'll be adding some "fan fiction" to Spare Parts in the comming weeks. I have some clean-up to do, so it's not going in all at once. Look For It.
Finally, yes, only two stinking panels. I decided to take a small "vacation" with my Thanksgiving holiday. You're seeing thighs and boobies, though, so quit yer complaining.
Get ready for the Holidays, that is. What? What did you think I was talking about. something perverse? And you probably think the phrase "stuffing the bird" is lewd, too, eh?
Foolish people. I'm as pure as the fucking driven snow, I am. You're all perverts. That's why I love you.
Anyway, you may (or may not) notice a slight change in the mood of the comic. I have recently gone through a "sleep study", and have been issued a CPAP machine. Let's just say I am finally getting a full night's sleep, probably for the first time in about 10 years.
It's a life changing experience, I want to tell you. I have so much pep, I can hardly stand myself. I know most of my friends are having a problem with it. sigh. Maybe I'll have to sleep one night a week without it, just to give my friends and family time to adjust.
Oh, hell, screw that. The male nurse running the sleep study told me he saw me start to choke to death, right there in bed. I have a new bedtime buddy. I just wish I could tell it my troubles, too.
Well, when you have a character named Fran Service, who like's to dress on the trashy side, it was only a matter of time before things went beyond NC 17. Not much beyond. And it's all for laughs. But I think you goode people get the idea.
I'm not really happy with this weeks strip. Things just are not flowing. Which is to say, it's even more incoherent that usual. Fortunately, it has tits and ass as a redeeming feature
I may have to take a short break to get my "muse" back. Don't worry (both of you!), I'll put up something else For Your Amusement and Amazement.
It's been a dead week. No energy, no enthusiasm, no zip. It's the Change of the Seasons: I don't think I'll be able to sleep with the windows open any more.
But enough of my personal whining. Xou Galdong is having her own problems getting to work. Don't worry. Fran will take care of her. Muahahahahahaha.
The next installment of Exiled to Paradise is now up . If this doesn't get me tossed out of the family nothing will.
So I went for a sleep study last Thursday. "Sleep study" is somewhat of a misnomer. Uncomfortable tossing and turning is closer to the mark. The upside is I'm a good candidate for a CPAP machine. Maybe a good night's sleep is just what I need.
Two exciting additions this week: our main storyline is advanced by Xou and Fran, and Biship Crosier continues to spar with the enigmantic Mephistopeles in Exiled to Paradise, part four!
Xou discovers she may have a friend in an unexpected place in this week's offering
I usually don't pimp other people's webcomics here, but I figure it's worth it in this case. I'm speaking of Dominic Deegan, Oracle for Hire!
I'll make this short. He had a contest. "I'll be away at a convention, could you provide filler art until Monday?" Pretty cheesy, really, but I figured "What the hell. I have skillz"
Well, I pretty much had me arse handed to me. sigh. Me art continues to "improve" (although there are some weeks where I'm dubious), but I'm afraid I'll just have to rely on the sparkling prose and the intricate-to-the-point-of-quantum-weirdness story to hold your attention. Both of you.
And speaking of fan fiction, I will probably post my longer work here when it's "done" (which is to say, at a convenient stopping point). Watch This Space.
It was a valiant effort, but I must report the demise of the Guestbook. Clearing up the occasional "nasty entry" was an interesting exercise, but I was being hammered on by netbots, and I can't filter out the entire goddamn internet.
Not that anybody ever used the guestbook. If you like Singularity Blues, I know who you are already. Thanks, Rich and Mike :D!
It never ceases to amaze me how a little sleep and some perspective can help the whole creative process.
Take this week's strip. If I had nailed Xou any better, I would have needed a condom. I'm very happy with the way "her" panels came out.
This strip also marks "the beginning of the end" for this particular "microarc". That's what I call these episodic fragments that, while they appear to stand on their own, are actually parts of the larger puzzle. My Dark Design, if you will <insert insane laughter here>.
Ah, yes, well. "Patience, Iago, patience." Anyway, I now have to work on the promised Mittens Tokugawa strip. And figure out how I'm going to get Fran and Xou to work in one piece...
Watch John Bernard dodge the bullet in this week's offering!
See Mr. Yamato be stalked by the strange denizens of Tokyo's Shinjuku district in the latest addition to the Mittens Tokugawa saga!
This may be premature, but I think I've been discovered. The scary part is, I may have been discovered by spammers. You decide:
Here's the stats for July:
I consider July my baseline for this stuff.
Here's the stats for August:
Ho, hum, nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along. But wait. There's more.
Here's the stats for September:
So...what am I looking at, here? Everybody is back at school? Spammers are back from vacation? It's now Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, and I'm getting hits from New Caledonia?
Any thoughts? If my traffic picks up, I may have to start selling swag. A summary for the year can be found here
Aye, and mebbe joost a wee bit more...
You know, when you get to my age, illness isn't just an inconvenience. It's Ma Nature's way of saying "slow the fuck down, shithead!, or else I'm going to have to get nasty".
So on top of helping a good friend move last weekend, a head cold came for a visit midweek. So between those two events, all I have for My Faithful Fans (all three of you now!) is three stinking frames.
Oh well. I take my cold-eze, and make note of the more vivid nightmares I get when taking Benadryl. It's all grist for the mill, eventually. If only I can finish this cocksucker before Ma Nature punches my ticket.
Try to hold off on that avian flu thing, O.K.?
You really have to hand it to the Bush administration: they take a science fiction story written by an English homosexual and turn it into a political playbook, complete with Room 101. I'm talking, of course, about George Orwell, and the story is 1984. But they've improved on it! Instead of the five minute hate, they have the two minute fear! That's three extra minutes to be productive!. Show's those Limey's a thing or two about opression!
The cunning of Carl Rove is absa-fucking-loutely astounding.
I'm not at all happy with the quality of the strip this week. I was "on call" again, and coupled with the merrie madness that happened last week, well, I'm pretty tired. So you get four strips with a lot of cheating.
The next nail in the coffin of my permanent record can be found here. Make sure you clean your cache out after reading it.
For those of you who want a quick link to this week's offering, look no further than here
Do you need a penis extender? Thorazine? A russian bride? Oxycontin? Hot underage teen marching band sluts? You don't need to surf for any of that shit. It's all in my goddamn Gest Book!. Yes, the makers of Lava Lava Love Soap (love you long time!), The Korean Ginsu Knives (made in Mongolia and trans-shipped to China), and Foreign Brides International have all found my humble guest book.
I was going to take the damn thing down altogether, but I've had a change of heart. If this comic ever hits (HA!), I'll have to check the site every day anyway. This just gets me in practice.
I hope everybody has a happy and safe Labor Day!
Full Update: Ooooooooh kay. While I'm waiting for the Roto Rooter man (again) I figured I would finish up the last two panels (mostly by doing a lot of "cheating). The Strip As It Was Meant To Be is now in place.
Modifications The transfer pages now have caching turned off. Caching in your browser has a tendency to keep you from the "freshest content humanly possible" [sm], so this should fix that little problem. You can always get to the latest and greatest directly by following the links provided on this page. You do read this page every time you read Singularity Blues, right?
Heads Up: My Red Headded Son and I are going to "play computers" this weekend, so the SB update is going to be delayed until Monday. I know, a tragic loss. Double up on your Zanex and grow a pair, I'm working as fast as I can.
This week's offering is two panels shy of being complete, but I'm sure you'll forgive me. Look for an update later on in the week.
I had the roto-rooter man traipsing in and out of my apartment, which does nothing for the creative juices.
Or any other juices, for that matter. eeewwww.
Enjoy, you little deviants.
... a dollar short. Oh, well, I'm sure you'll forgive me. All three of you now! :D Let's not forget my faithful squad of Ukrainian guest book spammers! Without you, the rest of Singularity Blues would be completely ignored.
Plus, it's fun to rip your ads for penis expanders and wholesale oxycontin patches right the fuck out of my guestbook.
Just to make it official: pimping your own webcomic in the guestbook: DA!, pimping anything illegal, unwholesome, or suspect (well, besides your own webcomic): NYET!. NYET!. NYET!. NYET!. (bangs shoe on table).
Sorry, I get a little carried away, comrades. It was that horrible Moose and Squirrel incident back in 1962 that scarred me for life...
But enough of the exciting life I don't lead. The Usual Suspect, now safely abord another train, contemplates her next move.
I have a fairly substantial update for everybody today, so no pushing or shoving like the last time. For those of you who pay attention to this shit, we've skipped a chapter. This is because I folded in last weeks "update" (which would have been chapter 19) into the previous weeks (chapter 18).
Just trying to help out the anal retentive in all of us, kids.
I also have some fresh transitional pictures up. I'm trying to figure out the best way to render clouds in Inkscape. Right now it's a toss-up between stylized (the examples I provide this week) and "realistic" (what I provide on my deviant art account).
And lastly, a note on the sexual orientation of Marv and Luca. I, myself, did not know they were gay until Luca started to mince his dialog in my ear while I was writing it.
Oh. Excuse me. They do not mince. They Sashay with Style. A thousand pardons, mon frere. Doing the art for Singularity Blues is a bitch, but the fucking thing writes itself. I mean literally. Sometimes even I don't know what direction we're going in until the words appear on the page.
Kids, this is your brain (show picture of a watermellon). Now, this is your brain on Otakon:
Show picture of a watermellon being demolished by a sledge hammer. Apologies to Galleger for stealing his schtick.
This week's update is One. Stinking. Frame.
And I with I had some really good excuse, but I don't. Otakon was fun, though. More on that in a later news item.
The roughs for the rest of it are finished. It's not writers block, it's artist's cramp.
August is gong to be a wash, I'm warning you right now. There will be something up, it just won't be stories. More like one-shot pictures and ideas for blackouts.
Mea Culpa
This week's offering will probably look a little cramped. I was "on call" again, and this usually does a right royal head-job on me. The dialog was mostly written before the work-tsunami hit, so I'll keep that, but I will probably spread things out to a few more panels so it feels less cramped.
You may notice that I am playing with the way I format Helen Gotty's hair. Inkscape v. 0.44 has finally stabilized their plug in facility, and I'm playing around with Koch fractals. Expect to see more of this in the future. Yes, I will stop playing with Helen's hair eventually. Not this week, though.
Thrills and new excitement! Well, it's new, anyway. I've written a formal introcuction for Mittens. Czech it out.
I just figured out why fantasy and "franchise" fiction is so popular, at least with publishers: It's easy to write.
With fantasy you have a frame of reference: everybody's heard stories of fairies and trolls and (for my generation at least) orcs and cursed rings. In a scene with an Orc Skirmisher and an Elf Ranger you know that the Orc is the bad guy and the Elf is the good guy.
It's the same with franchise fiction: those belonging to the Federation are the good guys, those not are the Bad Guys (or, at least, a Problem or Plot Device), and the good guys in the red shirts are gonna be the first to die.
The frames of reference in the world of Singularity Blues are, ah, not quite there yet. This process of giving you background on my universe (hopefully without boring you to tears) is called laying pipe.
Everybody's morning commute has been an exercise in laying pipe. Dont worry, I'm almost done.
Nest week we'll be getting Fran back to the relative safety of Studio 101B. Don't worry, though, We'll be seeing all of Fran's commuting pals again, bet on it.
I'm also working on getting the Mittens Tokugawa thread jumpstarted again. Gimme a couple of weeks on this one...
The more observant of you may have noticed a format change (again). Let's just say I'm experimenting with The Golden Ratio to see how things look. Your comments are welcome.
Enjoy!
Than never. I hope.
The usual suspect finds herself in the company of Royalty and in the middle of a potentially ugly family dispute. And when you're dealing with mobster royalty, a "family dispute" can get really, really ugly.
I've been pretty distracted of late (heh, no shit sherlock) but at least I can get a comic up on time. See ya next week, baselines.
New "content" is available for the main sequence story, Sick Call, and Exiled to Paradise.
Rest assured, someday I will learn to spell "Eminence" correctly. That day will not be this day, however.
And now for the rant dejure.
You know what drives me crazy? Webcomic artists who have great ideas...and no staying power. This is most apparent when a "creative team" is involved. The whipping boy for today is Gossamer Commons
This baby started with such promise. Well written, adaquately drawn (by both of it's artists). Semi regular updates. And then the site went quiet. And then the site was relocated. Could Mr. Burns descend from Olympus to tell us why on the front page somewhere?
To those of you who respond "an answer of sorts was in the forums" I respond "and I have to dig in a forum to find out if this guy is alive or not?"
O.K., that's enough. If I let myself go any further I'll start quoting from Mein Kampf and lose the argument immediately.
What are we to make of an age that tells us that "size doesn't matter", but consistantly rewards the "big dogs"? Well, for starts, you assume the Earth is green because it's filled with shit up to here!, and most of it has turned to fertilizer.
Well, having shared that with you, I suppose I should tell you that today's offering is "extra mucho grande". Super-sized, even: more than the ususal panels, and two panels that are larger than the usual size (see if you can spot them!). See, size does matter! Especially if you're viewing this on a 640x480 screen: you're not going to be able to see a damn thing. Try bringing your equipment into the 21st century, pal!
And, on a side note, the bill that would have ammended the Constitution to prevent flag burning was narrowly defeated.
In other words, sanity was narrowly maintained
Let me explain
When I pledge allegance, I don't do it to a flag. I pledge allegance to the idea of America. I pledge to keep the faith with my fellow citizens to uphold the constitution and the rule of law. Sure, a flag is a symbol. Showing one, or not showing one, or burning one, or not burning one, is an act filled with symbolic meaning.
Part of the advantage of living in a secular democracy is that nothing is sacred. Everything is up for grabs. And if someone is pissed off enough to burn an american flag, well, perhaps we should pay attention to the why
Let me clue you in: I'm an intellectual snob. And if the Heartland can't stand smart people, well, we're even, because I can't stand stupid people who would rather let a televangelist do the thinking for them (or worse, an Austrailan media mogul) than force themselves to have their own thoughts (right, wrong, or indifferent).
My middle name is Joseph, and in theory that's my patron saint (I'm a recovering Roman Catholic, if you have not guessed). From now on, my patron saint is the Apostle Thomas. Yeah, I'm gonna have to see the goddamn holes in your hands before I even entertain claims of your godhood.
Wow, we went the long way around the barn with that one, didn't we? Well, blasphemy is part and parcle of Singularity Blues, my friends, so you better get used to it.
Late because I was "on support" or "on call" last week. Gods, I wish I were on something stronger than blood pressure medicine. Oh, well.
I know nobody ever reads these things, but I find it useful to write stuff anyway. It's all right as long as I know I've been seduced by the sound of my own voice, right? (And what a melodious voice it is! Like soft Elfin piping, heard from very far away. But I digress...)
Ahem
Anyway, Sunday's offering gives you a window into the life of a DPD employee who does not rate Carl Plainfield's special attention. The life of a flatfoot has not really changed much in five hundred years. Oh sure, you've replaced squad cars with Urban Pacification Assistants (UPAs) and you have standard-issue side arms capable of leveling whole city blocks, but the human element remains the same.
That's right. Show's over. Nothing to see here citizen. Move along.
We only have a two panel update for Your Viewing Pleasure. I'm "on call" this week, and while this is mostly meant to be a training exercise I still have to be available to be "trained" (yes, he can be taught!)
One thing I am instituting with this episode is the
icon. This is the
"old transfer text" button. I occaisionally put "flavor
text" in with the "next installment in one week" message
in the javascript popup. Rather than let these gems be
Lost Forever, I will now make them accessable under their
very own hyperlink. Thanks to brother Rich for suggesting
this.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm WAYYYY to good to you people. I'm willing to live with that if you are ;)
Enjoy
There may be a "slight interruption" of "Service" next week. I start my "new responsibilities on call" next week (which means the potential for constant interruptions) so the update may be a short one.
My latest offering is now active and ready for Your Viewing Pleasure. Enjoy :D.
Had my kids (kids, hell, they're young men now. Don't get any fancy ideas with that "equipment", guys, I'm not ready to be a grandfather yet) over for the weekend. We watched "Final Fantasy: Advent Children", a work I found visually exciting but very confusing (you have to play the game, Dad) and "Howl's Moving Castle", which I found experiencing the same confusion I experienced witht the Dino DeLaurentis version of Dune. Which is to say, they must have edited a whole shitpot out, because following the logical train was somewhat difficult at times.
My children are my delight. My despair comes when I look at the veritable shitpot of webcomics that are out there. The art. The stories. So much bandwidth. So little time.
It's a good thing I'm not doing this for the fame. Or the fortune. A little recognition would be nice, though (THANKS, RICH!). Ah, well. Until next week :D
Spare Parts has been re-organized. Most continuing stories now have a latest link, and the new additions are now in reverse chronological order so the newest are first.
Check out Spare Parts, there are two new entries.
A comedy tonight! Ah, my, what happened to those days were it was up to the writers to carry a theatric performance, and not the special effects people? Sigh.
I hope you're not looking to my latest offering to save you from this sad state of affairs. Well, you could, but you might be disappointed.
It's hard to believe that I've pissed an entire year away on Singularity Blues. I just want to thank My Loyal Fans (both of you!) for hanging in there with me: you've made the tears and the heartache all worth while! :D
But enough about my psychological problems. Fran Service's adventurous train ride is finally resolved in this weeks strip! Yay, progress!
Bishop Crosier's adventures have been added to as well. The story name has been changed to Exiled to Paradise, although there's no doubt I'll change it again. Gotta stay on my medication...
Please Note: I've changed the navagation bar: Home, Previous, and Next now have icons associated with them.
I'm afraid I can only mark the triumphant (?) return of Singularity Blues with three panels this week. If you were in a forgiving mood, you could count the middle panel as two, at least.
Forgiving or not, it'll have to do until you start coughing up coin-o-'th-realm. (he he he) Enjoy
Lost Wages, Nevada was a blast, by the way, as was Yosemite. A Once in a Lifetime trip. Glad I made it, phisically, mentally, and financially! :D
Woke up with a nervous stomach, because I'm about to embark on a Pilgrimage to the True Center of America's Heartland. That's right, Las Vegas, Nevada.
So rather than waste good wake time, I finished this weeks offering.
Remember, I won't be here next weekend OR the next, so you'll have to wait until Wednsday, and even that's going to be a lame ass update. Sorry, guys. You know the guilt will just be tearing at me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
Once again, my appologies. I got involed with side projects, letting the already dubious quality of SB sink to new lows. I would say "mea culpa", but I've already used that in last weeks news item.
On the positive side, we have a new episode of Sick Call. I'm not happy with the last thing Mercy says in the last panel. I will probably change it to something that makes a little more sense, given Luther's reaction in the next panel.
I'm experimenting like mad with "the look" so if it looks "rough" (well, rougher than ususal) that's why.
In addition, we discover that John Bernard is not a morning person, either, in this weeks installment
Mea Culpa. Latin for "my fault". Had I had not been playing "Oblivion" in between customer service calls I could have gotten this weeks exciting episode to you in the afternoon, rather than an hour and twenty minutes before midnight.
Mea Culpa.
I'll be going on a week-long vacation at the end of the month. This means I will probably be late with one installment and provide a "short" installment for the other. It all depends on how busy I get in my "real" life between now and then.
I'm going to be cutting like mad in between the members of Team Fran this month. Here's my question: should I just do MTV style quick cuts (what I've been doing so far) or should I provide a "transition" scene (what I've done in this week's episode with Xou).
The story of Doris and Luther continue in this latest update of Sick Call
The site has undergone some major reorganization (mostly for my benefit). This should be invisible to you. Notice the word "should". If you experience trouble, clear your browser's cache (you know what that is, right?). For those of you who can't be bothered, a direct link to this weeks offering can be found here.
This is a HUGE update. I've been accumulating stuff on the side and wondering how I was going to use it. Now I (and you) know. The John Bernard Dream Sequence was done months ago.
And since this weeks update is so big, I'm going to be taking a break from SB next weekend. I'll be visiting my brother Rich in Pennsylvania. I know you'll understand, because you're getting a quad update this weekend!
I have decided to start Chapter 4 of our "epic saga" Dreamtime in Realtime, one day before my birthday, or the first day of spring, whichever is more important to you.
Those of you who are not afraid to read the URL in the address panel of your browser will notice that the directories for chapter 3, As Management Directs, has Dreamtime as part of its name. I screwed up. I will be moving chapter 3 to new digs "in the very near future". The impact on you guys will be zero, zilch, nada, nothing at all. Unless you've hardlinked to a web page under that Old Regime (something I would like to discourage you from doing right now).
Enjoy
A minor site change today: the Transitional Picture Gallery is up. This is a compilation (in no particular order) of the pictures you see when you are whisked off to the Offering de Jure.
This weeks comic gives you some insight as to how people get around in The City: public transportation. Mass transportation is free...but it's mass transportation. The next level is "group on demand", where any group can requisition transport for the appropriate number of "perks". The highest level is "on demand", and is analogous to present day taxi service. This costs the most "perks". It is possible to split he cost of a "private" taxi by sharing the ride.
There have been some references to "Megator". We finally meet him in this scene. And Fran's world will never be the same...
This week's offering shows you the main reason why all the security cameras were turned off (there is always someone watching in Guliani): Mandly gets her security passcard. Everything else is icing on the cake. Now, there is no such thing as a "private" conversation in Gulianni, but some conversations are more "private" than others, if you catch my meaning.
In addition, we introduce Fran Service's amazing, gravity-defying wardrobe. Fan Service with just a "touch of class". Enjoy, fellow hormone-monkies.
There are two things I will try to never to do to you guys: the "voice over", and the text crawl. Both are an indication that the writer has not done his job, and is trying to advance the plot without investing anything in the characters.
Which means that the only other trope I have to fall back on is the "explanation" sequence, where the principles bring a younger or more inexperienced member of the cast "up to speed". Sorry, I didn't say I wouldn't do that.
So we introduce Mandly 7503 ("SevFifeNauTree"), and the concept of "coming of age" for Synthetic Persons. In addition to enough information to make the rest of the story comprehensible.
Enjoy. Mandly, like Fran, is "a woman of higher caliber".
Thank you all for your patience. I'm back from a nice "working weekend" in a place that's warm in oh! so many ways. This week, for your amusement and amazement, I have provided the first part of a two part Intermission . I have received several suggestions that the comic is a little hard to follow. The next two or three episodes should "recap" everything, including major plot points.
My apologies for the massive number of spelling mistakes in this weeks so called "offering". I will correct this in the next edition.
Constructive criticism is always welcome. I'm beginning to believe that what I really need is an editor. If there is anybody out there willing to provide this service, please contact me.
I'm making the call now: I'm not gonna make it this weekend. I'm planning a microvacation to an "undisclosed location" to plot the future of the world with my neocon buddies. Just kidding about the neocon part: I have trouble planning what I'm going to have for breakfast. I guess it's a matter of priorities. Anyway, I do have new transfer pictures up for "current" and "last", so go ahead and take a look at them :D
This week we give our Loyal Readers (both of you!) a look inside Abraham's Inner Sanctum. This is where he takes all of his important phone calls.
In addition, Sargent Hobbes discovers than when you're a man, you're never an army of just one in this week's update of Sick Call!
This week's edition brings us to the penultimate entry in our current chapter, As Management Directs. I've already got the graphics for next week's edition done, but this gives me two hole weeks to figure out the details of Chapter Three: Dreamtime in Realtime.
Those with no patience for the navigational aids I've installed can go here for the latest installment. Enjoy!
Since I'm expecting company this weekend, here's a "special delivery" for you: more main story madness and the next addition to Sick Call .
I have a big assed update...so big, I won't get to it all until tomorrow. However, I'll put what I have done up tonight for those of you who appreciate "punctuality". The futuristic goodness starts here.
I'm not exactly shooting for commercial success with my little project, here. I've already lost most of my fan base ("I'm not sure I understand what's going on" is the most frequent comment I get). Combine that with the fact that I'm openly hostile to evangelicals (although I really, really want to call them "cultists", but that would be stepping over the line, even for me. Even if I am right). and you have a story that screams "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"
This is about my story. This is not about "fair" or "equal time".Anyone with an opposing point of view is welcome to shell out the money and spend the time to produce their own webcomic.
You know, as perverse as this sounds, I actually get enjoyment out of this. There's a certain bit of satisfaction when a turn of phrase suggests itself, or I see my artwork improve from week to week, or I finally nail a character design (like I think I finally did with Xou Galdong this week).
I'm never going to go "pro" here. But that's not my intent. This is partly therapy, partly escape, and partly a way to talk to my kids. Well...you can't have a conversation if the other party doesn't talk back (*sigh*). Looks like I'm going to have to go to Plan B with them (Yay! Plan "B").
The battle is joined in our latest strip.
As long as I have the flickering will-o-th'-wisp that is your attention span (thank you MTV) I would like to point out that I do go back and modify strips. For instance, I have almost completely re-done the conspiracy theory arclet, and a good chunk of the beginning of recalled to life.
I only mention this because you should go back and re-read the last chapter too, particularly the panel where Xou meets Dave for the first time. I'll explain more about those pastel colored circles later. Suffice to say that Xou and Dave are equally affected.
I gave the front page a much needed face lift. Most of the links in the page are now located on the left hand side, in a navigation bar.
Oh, the horror. Oh, the Humanity. Can a Flash front page be far behind? No, gentle readers, it won't. Trust me on this.
Shrugged, said "what the hell, it's Christmas," and put up the last (for now) installment of our Yuletide Extravaganza
Why I spoil you people is beyond me
PLEASE NOTE THE NOTE OF 27 DEC 2005. I'm only putting up the main sequence story today. I have more, but I'm not happy with it. I'm still happy with the writing, but there seems to be a part of my artistic brain that says to me "I was expecting so much more of you by now, my boy." (*sigh*) No, Xou is not supposed to look that ugly. She's really the "femme fatal" at this point in time. So here we are jumping back to Studio 101B (the last cross cut we're going to make for a while). I'm not sure if we're gonna see Abraham at this point, that part of the plot is still "jellin".
Hope you guys have a happy and prosperous New Year!
PLEASE NOTE: due to circumstances beyond my control, the Christmas Extravaganza will have to be continued next year.
Work is underway to put the script into liquid nitrogen, so it will be perfectly preserved, like Aunt Sophie's Fruitcake, for re-animation next year
I'm running out of Christmas, guys! On the bright side, I should have improved enough by next year to do the damn thing justice...
I know the two of you that actually read this comic will be disappointed, but think of it as a character building exercise.
On a more positive note, we have three new installments. Our main thread has been updated. In addition, our pot of mulled Yule Wine is just beginning to simmer, and our three not so little girls contemplate using the Powers of Darkness to get what they want!. I must apologize for the quality of the art, I was in a rush. I'll fix it up next week.
One final note: I have updated the characters page to include an index bar at the top, and more information on our new Heartland buddies down below in the new Antagonists section.
Well, it's official. I've lost most of my fan base. Some of you like the story, and say I need to keep working on the art. That I can live with. But, there is a portion of you that has no flicking clue what's going on.
Here's what I was trying to accomplish in the section I'm calling As Management Directs. Last weeks installment, introduced our antagonists in the city: Carl Plainfield and Jaz Bell. This weeks installment formally introduces the antagonists in the Heartland.
We will wind up As Management Directs with a visit to The Big Guy Himself, Mr. "110-110-110", The Man Behind Everything, Abraham. Keep your tinfoil hat in place.
We are going to bounce around a bit more, but not too much more. We are not going to introduce any new characters, but "The Plot" (a.k.a. "The Major Story Arc", a.k.a. "The Reason for All of This") will (hopefully) be greatly advanced.
In addition, we have two updates in Spare Parts. The first is a continuation of our Yuletide Extravaganza. Is it going to be a cruel Yule for John Bernard?! The second update is a small continuation of the Mittens Tokugawa story.
Well, it's the Holiday Season, it snowed today (in an accumulation that could be best measured in millimeters), and I'm feeling pretty damn good.
So here is the another double update!
I'm spoiling you now so you won't be to mad when I ditch you at Christmas...
You know what pisses me off more than anything about webcomix? More than months-at-a-time disappearances? The 'Hiatus'. The latest to jilt me is this way is Inverloch, a cute little fantasy comic that is extremely well done. Two days ago the lady that does this comic announced that Inverloch was going on 'hiatus'.
What the fuck does this mean, people?
If I were dealing with this like an adult (a stretch for me, I know. After 49 years you would think I would have gotten the hang of this 'adult thing' by now) I would sympathize with this woman's plight: she's just graduated college, she's been given a contract to do professionally what she's been doing for love for the last three years, and she has reached a Tipping Point in her life. "Sure, honey," the Parent in me says, "put the comic on hold and sort things out. You never had a contract with these people anyway."
That's if I were dealing with this like an adult. What I thought, when I read the words, was "you stupid pork-face, now I'll never be satisfied". To quote an ancient Saturday Night live sketch.
So, why do I feel this way. The still, calm voice (a.k.a. The Adult) tells me Life Happens. The shrill, whiny voice (my Inner Child) is telling me I've been violated, and I'm not happy.
What gets me is the implied expectation that while the author has abandoned the work, they expect you to go on the shelf and be good little readers and be there when they come back.
Yes. That's what I'm pissed off about. I've been 'put on the shelf' about four times, by webcomix that I was starting to care about.
Screw you. You're not playing with my affections any more
Which brings us to the point of all this (surprise, surprise). If I ever have to put this sucker 'on hiatus', I will try to do one of three things:
I believe this is fair to both of us. Tell me what you think.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Well, I'm On Call, but I'm not wallowing in self pity, no NOT ME!
Not much to report here. Hope all of you have a good Thanksgiving. I'm afraid I'll be spending it quietly at home: I'm "on call", and need to be near a broadband connection.
Can you feel the love?! A double update this week: the one from Friday, and today you get Part the Fourth of Sick Call
Oy! 11pm already?! The update is going up early this week because I get to see The Little Red Haired Boy this weekend. We're planning to see "Good night and Good Luck". A quaint film about a time when some journalists were not shilling for some interest group.
And to those who say that McCarthy wasn't all wrong, I counter that Joe Stalin probably killed some people who deserved it, too. It's a matter of degree and intent.
Had a great time on my "mini vacation", but I ran my arse ragged. Then, when I got back, CIV IV was waiting for me.
You can see where this is going, right? We have an update, but it's not as long as I would like (*sigh*). I'll do better next week. I promise.
You believe me, right?
Since there is no formal update this week, I figure I would torment you guys with a view of the shape of things to come. Regular update next week.
First of all, I want to apologize for the artwork in this weeks strip. Getting the old girl done this week was a bear. Probably because I'm taking a little vacation next week, and I'm having a little trouble concentrating. (*sigh*).
Special announcement: there will be no strip next week. I'll try to have some kind of filler in Spare Parts for your viewing pleasure. Don't hold me to that, though.
We examine the Art of Office War with the further introduction of Dave Bell in this weeks strip
A new addition in Spare Parts: It may not qualify as Pr0N, but I think this will definitely work work as cheesecake
Don't let it be said that I don't respond to reader requests. "I like the art", says one Dear Reader, "but you have too many characters!". Well, Feare Thee Not. I have placed an Organization Chart and a Relationships Cheat Sheet for your edification!
I'm not sure if I'm going to have enough time to update this weekend, so I've taken it upon myself to add to the saga of Doris and Luther (America's Couple) in the third exciting installment of Sick Call!
The latest installment introduces you, however briefly, to the last swabby on our ship of fools: John Bell (the Stephen Hawking of Crime!). It's Not For the Squeamish.
On a personal note (you didn't think you were going to escape, did you?) my pity party is over. I'm still convinced I'm just talking to myself, but in the light of last week, I'm now convinced that this is a good thing.
The high blood pressure medicine seems to be working. Did you know that high blood pressure can take away mental acuity? I sure as hell didn't, until I started to take my BP medicine.
So welcome to middle age. You can live like there's no tomorrow until you're about 40. Then you have to come to the grim realization that you're probably going to die in your sleep (if you're lucky). Oh, wait! My youngest brother is now 42! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You mofos thought you were going to live forever, didn'tcha?
And for you "young bucks" out there, let me leave you with a quote from a headstone:
AS YOU ARE NOW, I ONCE WAS AS I AM NOW, YOU SOON WILL BE Burma shave
It's late, and I'm pissed off. Perhaps I should not be, but there you are. The short version is: I made a comment on another comic site, more of an observation, really. I was basically told to shut up.
Now those Deighans out there are going to laugh their asses off with the observation of "of course you got toasted. That's the function of the noob!" Ah, me, fool that I am. You can stop laughing now, Joe.
I have now come to the conclusion that the only "entities" pinging on my site are robots and spiders. Rich is the only one who gives me feed back, Oddly enough, he seems to like my ramblings.
He's going to be the only one in my will. Besides my sons, of course.
So do I feel better, after my little bout of therapy here? No, not really. Am I going to do anything about it? Probably not. After all, I've taken better shots from ex wives, why should this bother me all that much?
Ah, piss on it. Get some sleep, John
New stuff for you: a new chapter I've also added a comment to the last graphic in the blackout if you didn't understand what was happening.
As I have stated elsewhere, this is a Burlesque, which is, among other things, a show with sketches, dancing, and ribald humor. So far I've kept things PG-13 for the most part. I'll try to do better in the future.
A word of warning for those of you who depend, perhaps too much, on consistency: I'm doing something different with the strip this week. This Blackout sketch is submitted for your amusement and amazement. There will be more in the future whenever I need a break from the main story line, but I still want to do something with the main characters. This sketch just re-enforces the notion that Fran is not a monster, but she most certainly is a devil...
The story will continue next week, with the beginning of Chapter Two
This is starting to creep me out. As far as I can tell, I've only told family (and a few friends) about this site: roughly ten people. My statistics package tell me that there were 50 unique IP addresses banging on dear old SB.com last month. So, if you assume that most of you can log in from two machines (like I can), that takes care of 20 addresses right there.
Which leaves us with 30 IP's "unaccounted for. Let's do some more filtering like we did above. A "reasonable" figure for the number of individuals who are here by "word of mouth" seems like 15.
Who are you people? Don't you have anything better to do on a Sunday evening? I mean, I usually laugh like hell when I'm doing the strip, but I figure it's due partly to the drugs and partly to the fact that I'm easily amused.
What's you excuse? Do you like the strip, or are you some twisted surfer, wading through all the shit because you just know there's a pony in there somewhere?
Let me know. My secret fear is that you guys are all spammers or guys looking to crack my system. Lemme tell you, it ain't that hard. Go pick on NORAD or some bank somewhere and leave me alone, O.K.?
Just remember, free thinking isn't free...
It's official. My artwork sucks. And the story could pick up the pace, too. Fortunately, this is criticism from people who love me, so I'm not discouraged. Not yet, at least.
So I'm going to keep soldiering on, mostly out of ego. I know how this ends, but even I am not 100% sure of how I'm gonna get there. Plus I now have two characters in my head that want to see this wrapped up (*sigh*).
To my friends and family: I won't love you any less if you don't read this, but I might be inclined to love you a little more if you do and give me feedback :D.
To Everyone Else: Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you were, at least, amused by my rantings. Drop me a note and let me know who you are.
OMFG. Thrills and new excitement, the latest strip is finally up! So much has happened, but I don't feel like doing much typing now. More later
Every time I think I'm almost done, The Cast decides that a little more "exposition" is necessary. Except for Coolio, he just wants more explosions. I can always count on that little guy! Anyway, this week's episode examines how the Pecking Order of Studio 101B is going to shake out.
There may or may not be an update for the next two weeks: I've got Otakon with Charlie coming up, and five days in Plum Island (as opposed to One Night in Bangkok) "en Familie". Yes, Sam, we're coming for a visit, never fear! :D
So that's it. If I don't see you in September, I know I'll have lost you to a Summer Love. What the hell am I talking about?!? A full night's sleep last night! :D
Wow, light at the end of the tunnel time kids, in more ways than one: Vacation at the end of August, I get to schedule my sleep study in two weeks, and we are within spitting distance of the end of the first chapter. Chapter two should fire up sometime in September, unless one of the characters hijack the damn plot line again. The transitional pictures are from the (in)famous Synthetic Person Only venue (no better word for it, really) The Light Fantastic. They instantiate The Haunted City for all hallows eve (transfer current), and the Palace of Relativistic Light for Stephen Hawking's birthday (transfer last).
This week's been just a little on the rough side, and da boyz are gonna be in da crib...er...my kids are visiting for the weekend, so I don't have an update for the 'main sequence'. HOWSOEVER, there is an update in "spare parts" regarding the Goode Biship Crosier and his young charges. Also, I have included an "interlude" of sorts (a 'dead artist day' if you will). If nothing else has convinced me not to quit me day job, this has.
Even though I have to work this weekend, I still was able to get you the incredible story of how Foolio got his name. Now go away and leave me alone, I gotta get some work that I get paid for done...
Here's four panels, "submitted for your approval" as Mr. Serling was wont to say. I'm afraid I was still recovering from my "vacation" last week, so I'm afraid my creativity was at a low ebb.
I dunno, maybe that's a good thing. Then again, that ex-felon Martha Stewart always says that, so how good can it really be, eh?
I'm going on a 4 day vacation next week, so for your amusement and amazement I have left you with the latest installment of Sick Call
Today's strip is a quick cross-fade to Coolio, who seems to have a little problem with "reality". Disturbing in a human being, but downright creepy in a Synthetic Person, who is supposed to "know better".
Another double-update. A short one in in the main sequence and a, ahem, slightly longer one here;
If this doesn't get me kicked out of the family, nothing will
Here's an early update (of a sort) for ya. I whipped up some ad banners for the site. Tell me what you think.
Another successful comic delivery (bada-BOOM) on time and under budget (heh). We are now at the "beginning of the end" portion of our introduction arc with the appearance of the "Three Amigos", HOOLIO, FOOLIO, and the irrepressible Dave Bell. I've been looking forward to this, so I hope the "chuckles per pixel" ratio goes up.
At the behest of my twin brother Rich, I have added an additional "transitional panel" so you can see that Foolio has, in fact, been in the room even before John Bernard, and has been hiding, spider like, as an innocuous little box behind the entrance to the engineering room (door on the RHS). WHY has Foolio been like that? That...would be telling...wouldn't it...(bwahahahahah).
Here's a 4-panel "micro update" for your SB "loyalists" out there. Not too much new, but it moves the story along just a wee bit.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I lied! Looks like we have an update after all. Technically this is a MONDAY update, being seven stinking minutes after midnight and all, but what the hell.
This latest installment is our "office intrigue" edition. Two things you should know about the Department of Public Defense: they hate robots, er, Synthetic Persons almost as much as they hate the Department of Public Works. O.K., three things (hey, it's late) you NEVER have a situation where a DPD person is assigned to a DPW job, and vice versa. Unless there is some major political voodoo going on.
More hot, steaming content For Your Viewing Pleasure: a comic update and a new feature to the Spare Parts section: Jack's Military Hardware, with sections on the coil-gun and the T150 stunner.
My vanity site, singularityblues.com is up. The fact that it has not been grabbed should leave me overjoyed, but it's strangely disturbing that I'm the only one weird enough to buy it. Oh well. Enjoy your stay here, the old site will be coming down Real Soon Now.
I'm updating early this week because I'm going to see Episode III, Revenge of the Sith with my red-headed boy this weekend. Spence was invited, but he's going to Preakness. Well. Remember me when you're rich and powerful, kiddo, because I'll certainly memorize where you live! Just kidding, son. Have a good time. Please videotape (wink wink).
Thrills and new excitement: another double update. Firstly, in our main story arc, Poor Mr. Bernard experiences the hazards of asking leading questions. Can we treat the witness as "hostile", your Honor? We also have an update in the Spare Parts section: Sick Call. The index page will give you more information about it.
Just to let you guys know, I'm going to try to keep to one artistic style in the main story arc, but the Spare Parts style is "anything goes". I spent a butt load of money for a graphics program, and I'll be damned if it's just going to lay around collecting dust.
I still have not decided what to do with the transfer pages. I'm leaning towards going back to their original purpose: which was to give you non-storyline views into the "SB Universe" (if I may be so bold as to use capitals here).
In lieu of a decision on the transfer pages I offer instead a Mittens Tokugawa arclet, entitled "Fan Girls". This will be the first entry in the new Spare Parts section.
Well, I'm working on getting rid of the transfer pages: they were just confusing people. They were a way to introduce "extra" content that had little or nothing to do with the flow of the plot. I'll put up a gallery instead.